Messy!

God... these will be messy! I'm blaming God again... Why it turn this way? his coming, and disappear ONE MORE TIME! More means happening again.. n its bad... our relation as close friend before, ruined just because of other person! are you jealous?! I don't understand! with all the memories flow in front of my eyes, i feel like i'm gonna cry! be brave, oh my dearest heart n soul...

*appreciate the people that love you before you regret...

Ups & Downs~

Hmm~ Now hes okay, and we're okay.. but the other he is coming in.. I once have fell onto him, but now is just a friend.. but the feeling is still there.. Well, I have to control myself not to over react in front of him..

My feeling towards him now is..honestly..just a friend.. the other hes is naturally.. peace when I'm beside him.. But situation don't allow us to go forward.. We have to stay moderate..as a friend.. It's be down-and-out to have a circumstance like this.. This is life, as they call it..

Hmm... whatever it holds in front, let the time reveals it.. The only hope I have is Him, The Handsome, Highest King entire Earth~ Hallelujah!

independent

sometimes i think that i can go on my own.. i don't have to depend too much on them, since i can go on without him by my side..

thinking of them makes me exhausted sometimes.. going independently is more easier~ i'm thinking of being single again.. but how bout his feeling? have i been self-centered if i break up with him? if i do break up, how long i will survive being a single? what if i couple with someone else after i broke with him? questionaire, questionaire, questionaire...

whatever it is, all i can do for now is just follow the flow.. whatever happens in the future, then it will happen..

heartache~

Just a simple thing drive his mad! Hello, excuse me! Please ask in a proper manner what's happening behind before you pointing your finger in front of my eyes!

This kind of deed he has always hurt my feeling.. Why don't he ask before he stated it? Why did he has to use hard words to advice me? Why did he treat me in such manner? Can he be a bit concerned about my feeling, regarding of his behavior towards me..? Can he be sensible sometime..?

I have feelings too.. and it's very sad that you blame me in such a way.. I know you want me to have better life, correcting my mistakes.. but please, do it in a right manner.. Plus, I don't want to get hurt all over again, not even in conversation that we have.. frequently.. less is just okay.. more than that is not pleasant..

Sometimes I get exhausted facing this situation, I almost fed up! So please, please understand before you put the blame on me...

Wondering~

All of the sudden.. It's happening without I'm expecting it.. Is he got several fever? Or he up to something, like a plan, motive, etc etc.. I'm feeling like..dreaming... hmm... wondering... wondering... keep wondering~ humhumhum~ hes change from being passive to active... to our relationship... hum... chilled baby~ relax, enjoy your life! =D

Two or One?

Hmm... I always involve in boys, and I hate it when it comes to serious relationship, I mean the feeling through the heart... Duh... I only get headache thinking of this, even my migraine would rise just because of this!


Two or one? Hmm..... I would prefer one... I can be independent, free to do anything that I like, hangover with anyone I like, be friend with whoever I want, everything! But... sometimes loneliness may creep in within the soul without an intimate mate to share something that is very personal... But sometimes two make things complicated... Can't do this, can't do that... haish... but sometimes it is good to have someone to look and care after you, someone who's pamper you... hehehe...


Above all, I only have One Truly Him... Jesus Christ is His name... and I'm very glad, truly glad to know Him and inviting Him in my life... Life is so wonderful and precious with His Presence in my life... Well, life is worth!


Whatever it is, life goes on... Just follow the flow! Someday, somehow, I'll know what's better for me, two or one? Let the time reveals!